Today's readings for Thursday of the Eighth Week of Ordinary Time are from
1 Pet 2:2-5,9-12, Ps 100:2-5, Mark 10:46-52.
Salvation in Christ is a process of growth, a continuum that begins with our baptism and is not fully completed until our resurrection. At times we find ourselves stuck in a spiritual rut, where our prayer life, our journey towards perfection in Christ, becomes stale and we find ourselves less than inspired. This is usually because we have reached a point where we have stopped making spiritual progress. Like a child learning to read from children's books, a point will come when they have advanced beyond that reading level and will simply become bored with the same old picture book, so too are we in our spiritual lives, in our journey of salvation. In today's first reading the Apostle Peter writes, "Beloved: Like newborn infants, long for pure spiritual milk so that through it you may grow into salvation, for you have tasted that the LORD is good." Our first real experience with Christ gives us a taste of His goodness, and the Spirit within us gives us a glimpse of the glory that awaits us. This same Spirit then prompts us along our journey of salvation, and urges us on at the appointed time to seek out more fulfilling spiritual food. We mature in our spiritual lives as we grow closer towards that perfection in Christ.
For this reason it is of utmost importance that we daily work towards a greater sense of self-discernment. We must be able to truly know ourselves, to measure our spiritual progress, to know our faults and our strengths, to know what gifts the LORD has given to us and how we have failed and succeeded in using those gifts for the greater glory of God. Most importantly we must always strive for holiness and for cleanness of heart, for this alone will allow us to discern the will of God. It is through discernment of self that we understand our greatest weakness and where we are most liable to be tempted, and what obstacles are most likely to keep us from God. As St. Augustine wrote in his
Confessions, "Nevertheless, my hope is strong, for
You are faithful, and You will not allow us to be tempted beyond our strength, but in time of temptation You will also give us a way out to enable us to bear it (1 Cor 10:13). Let me confess then what I know of myself, and let me also confess what it is that as yet I do not know of myself. What I know of myself, I know by the light of Your wisdom, and what I do not know, I shall remain ignorant of until
my darkness be made like the noonday (Is 58:10) in Your countenance" (X,5.7).
By the light of the LORD and the indwelling of His Spirit we may learn the truth about ourselves, and gain keener insight into the state of our soul.
O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether (Ps 139:1-4). By turning our thoughts interiorly and by the assistance of the Holy Spirit discerning the truth of ourselves and of our soul, we not only discover the truth about us, but we also gain a more intimate knowledge of God. "Let me know You, O LORD, Who know me.
Let me know You, as I am also known by You (1 Cor 13:17)" (
Confessions, X,1.1). And again, "As for You, O LORD, before Whose eyes the abyss of a man's conscience lies naked, what could there be in me that could be concealed from You, even if I did not will to confess it to You? For I would only be hiding You from myself and not myself from You" (X,2.2). It is in this honest and searching interior reflection that we open ourselves up to the working of the Spirit and allow ourselves to advance in spiritual maturity. This is most necessary to avoid the sort of spiritual malaise that often overcomes those who start off on fire for Christ only to see that zeal wane after a period of time. This waning is because they have not allowed themselves the opportunity to "grow into salvation," to progress in spiritual perfection.
For some of us, a true and honest discernment of the soul will reveal that which we dread to admit, which is that our faith is very weak, or even non-existent. We might find that we are in fact blinded to the presence of God and no longer see Him in our lives. This can happen for many reasons, but the last thing this should cause in us is despair. Even for this situation we have a remedy, and it is related to us in today's Gospel. The blind man in Mark called out to the LORD, but was only driven back. Yet He knew that Christ was the only one Who could cure his blindness, and so he persisted, and continued to call out, and begged the LORD to have pity on him. And when he called out to Jesus, Jesus in turn called to him, and said to him, "Take courage, get up." The blind man said to Jesus, "Master, I want to see." To which Jesus replied, "Go your way, your faith has saved you." And immediately the blind man received his sight.
It is not uncommon on our journey with Christ that we may experience spiritual blindness. Many of us may have lost all sense of faith. There are two keys to this Gospel passage as it applies to us whose faith is weak or even apparently gone. First, the blind man desired to see. If our faith seems to be gone, we must truly desire to have it back. With that desire, longing to see God no matter how convinced we are that He is not there, or perhaps even convinced that He just does not exist, if we long to see Him and to know the truth about God, no matter how weak our faith may be, if we persist in calling out to know Him, our persistence will be rewarded, and Christ too will come to us. We will find that even when our faith seemed gone, it was sustained by out desire to know God, and it is because of that desire that Christ will be able to truthfully say to us, "Your faith has saved you," and thus cure our spiritual blindness. This is the second element, that despite the weakness of our faith, if we desire to know God, we must be willing to ask for faith, no matter how silly we may feel in doing so.
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you (Matt 7:7). What more perfectly could we apply this to than our desire to know the truth about God?
Grace and peace in Christ,
Michael